Here I am waiting like crazy for tomorrow! why because I cant stand vacations!
If you have read the "ABOUT US " link (probably you do not care) but anyways :) I suffer from GAD, generalized anxiety disorder so I can not stay still and I am always in a constant worry of everything....so I need my routine, gym, work, work, baby and work to be stable, No I am not proud by this; GAD is a mental illness, but I have it and I have to cope with it the best way possible.
PS.. before I keep on going, I want to apologize for typos, English is not my native language, but for some reason I feel more comfortable writing in English than in my native language, don't ask me why,..,,maybe I have read so many books about self help in English that it just comes naturally!
Ok, so,... new yeah 2016! yeiii... now what! Ok I have declared this year is going to be a spiritualist one for me, why? because I have not stopped competing on bodybuilding for 3 years in a row, with baby in between,got married, quit my 9-5 job, launched this business 2 years ago and have a 1yo baby boy,a 9 yo step son and a husband to deal with... so laterally I am going nuts!!!!
I feel I live on the edge, trying to please everyone one around me while being the perfect hot entrepreneur mom, and I just TIRED of all this BS! all together.....
Do not get me wrong, I love what I do, and I love all of you guys! and I am blessed of what I have... but I am about to collapse, so I am taking this year to care about me, I have started yoga and meditation as a daily routine/practice ( have tried in the past and failed (because I have 0 patience) but now I will do it...I swear God.
In the same order of ideas.. competing have take a toll on my health(sounds familiar???) yes, the restricting and binging competing brings or triggers is no joke, and yes that is called an eating disorder, whether you want to face it or not.. you do not have to be purging or not eating at all to have anorexia or bulimia... eating disorders come in many types as the people that have them; the simple fact that you restrict, and then after competing or diet hard binge like crazy, and then not knowing how to behave around food is an eating disorder...sorry to break those news for you :(
I have realized it already, with all the pain and shame it can bring...I am not as concerned because I have learned to control it but it is still there... and or i take care of it or this will go down the road, because eating disorders are progressive.....and I know there are some super stable people that can be involved in aesthetic sports and be just fine, but I can assure 99% are not....and you know what... eating disorders kill you! yes you can die from them..
Not to mention the whole crap that goes down while competing, ...starving, not drinking water on peak week, taking estrogen suppressors ,diuretics, pasting myself on hemorrhoids creams,wrapping my butt on plastic paper and so on,,,, and do not get me started of what goes next next... because I am pretty sure you already know....
Then....the week after I just want wine and sleeping pills to control my anxiety and craziness... not good.
The worst part is that I am a competitive athlete, and yes those ones that sleep wrapped in plastic paper all peak week, is my crazy nature, and this is why I need to take care of me..or shit will go down badly.
Because of all this... I have decided to start project SHARING IS CARING and here I am sharing my January resolutions and craziness with you guys, and hope you can share as well with all of us at the ABS2B Family.
Amanda AKA Mandy @horsegirlfitness